sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
