: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
