this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
