I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize
