I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
