i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
