Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
