My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
