Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
