The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
