Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
