i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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