We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
