Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
