NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
