Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
