HIV tests are more positive than that guy
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Randomize
