They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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