I could have mohawked her pubes.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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