then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I checked into jail on foursquare
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
How does it feel to date your dad?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
