Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
