overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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