We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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