I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
