I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He kissed a someone with a penis
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
