That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
