There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
please come you make the beer taste better
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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