I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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