Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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