Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
