she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
