so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
