I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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