I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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