the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
