Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
