Small penises have feelings too.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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