it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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