he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Just puked most of my soul out..
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