I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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