Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
