So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
