I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
We were destined to go to rehab together
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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