My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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