Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
