Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
