i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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