Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
