I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
