Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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