if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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