Having a random hookup so left but love u
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
